NEW HAVEN — In one New Haven synagogue, all members live in the building, some walk to shul, and the rabbi, despite his graying beard, is still younger than every single congregant.
Dr. Arnold Carmel serves as rabbi of Tower One/Tower East, an independent living facility in New Haven, with its own synagogue. Carmel enjoys his job so much that he continues to expand his roles and responsibilities, even as he prepares to celebrate his fifth year at “The Towers.”
Carmel, while not an ordained rabbi, has a PhD in school and counseling psychology, lived in Israel for many years, has extensive experience serving special needs populations and working in Jewish day schools, and currently serves as the principal of MAKOM, the Hebrew High School of Greater New Haven.
When Carmel first arrived at The Towers, attendance was low and no more than one or two women attended services.
“Our goal was to do outreach,” reports Carmel. “We wanted not just to have Friday night and Saturday morning services, but to have an emotional attachment with the population. My mother lives in a similar place in Toledo, Ohio and I saw how beneficial it was when the synagogue nearby did outreach.”
Carmel, along with his wife, Judy, an administrative assistant at the Yale University School of Management, decided to start coming early to join the residents for dinner at 5:30pm on Friday nights. This allowed an hour and
Carmel then invited Judy to lead Kabbalat services on Friday nights. Carmel feels that his wife’s beautiful voice and the fact that a woman has had an active role in the leading of prayers has led to an increase in female attendance at the services. “The services have met their spiritual needs as well,” reports Carmel. Gradually, the services have become more egalitarian.
Some women who have never come to the Torah before have answered Carmel’s invitation to come for an aliyah, while other women are more comfortable leading an English reading.
“Our community is very diverse, and we try to meet the needs of everyone.” Carmel says there is one man who does not feel comfortable reciting the Kaddish prayer without the traditional minyan of ten men.
Friday night services typically begin at 7:15 p.m, last one hour, and attract
“The residents love the Etz Chaim chumash. We could use another 20 or so,” observes Carmel. “And we always say the prayer for those who are sick, and we sing and dance on resident’s birthdays.”
And when word began to spread one or two
While some residents walk to services independently, others come with the assistance of walkers, wheelchairs and attendants. Carmel‘s role extends far beyond service leader and outreach to the residents. He sometimes performs pastoral counseling, and he often gives religious guidance.
“On Yom Kippur, I tell many that they have to eat and take their medicine.”
Sometimes, people “simply need help pulling up their pants or buckling their belt.” And Carmel once administered CPR when a man had a heart attack during services.
“If you work with this population, you have to have compassion, feeling, and you have to understand that the process of giving up independence is painful,” notes Carmel.